Jingle all the Ray

And the rest of the story...

Sugar Ray

Where is Sugar Ray? The readers from Highlowaha are taking turns baking light bulb shaped cookies like our mascot Ray and sharing with others. We're hoping to catch some new readers and friends.

HoliRay and his cousin, Noel

Noel is Ray's loud and crazy cousin from Brooklyn. Read the whole story at Highlowaha.com

O'Pry Indoor Football

They will do this for hours if I let them. Or until someone gets hurt.

Thanksgiving Ray

Pilgrim Ray from Highlowaha.com

Thanksgiving

The boys and I departed from our driveway at 6:15 am on Wednesday, November 26th- JB's birthday. It seemed like we had to stop 50 times but we actually made it to Refugio in good time. Wednesday we ate at Moya's and had cake for JB's birthday. Thursday we ate at home and it was such a nice day that we spent most of it out in the front yard with the boys and Hannah running around shooting each other with the nerf guns that were birthday gifts. Friday we at Moya's. :) We went to Walmart for about an hour and then over to Chile's to have more birthday cake. Saturday we spent the day at the ranch running around, fishing, and catching armadillos. Grandpa let the boys each drive his RTV. It was hilarious.




Then we booked it home and had it plenty of time to get ready for work and school on Monday.

Mummies

There were two mummies in our house for Halloween. JB wouldn't let me paint his face because it reminded him of girls makeup. Drew was all about it though. He directed me on what to do and I think it came out pretty good. One of our neighbors organized a Halloween Carnival where the street was blocked off. It was a lot of fun. They raked in the candy. We stayed over there for about an hour and then they came home, dumped their pumpkins and went back out to one of their dad's friends neighborhood where they proceeded to get another bucket full of candy!

Rat Bastard- The Saga Continues

I have been fully informed that Rat Bastard is going to laugh at all my poison and continue to live in the penthouse suite. As I have been away for the holiday, I have no idea what kind of parties he has been throwing. After reminiscing with my mom about the doosie I had one year at her house where we broke the hot tub (you can't let the water level get to low), someone was drinking jungle juice on the roof and the cops were called because one of the upstanding members of the community was relieving himself in Mrs. Craft's front yard, I'm sure he's having a wild one up in the penthouse suite.

Now, I don't hear any scratchty, scratchty crawling around up there like I did with Squirrel Bastard but I hear lots of popping or cracking noises. Is he gathering up the poison packs I threw around up there and putting them in nice stacks? I know some of the noises I hear are from the boys tapping the wall as they toss in their bed and hit the wall. But I immediately think Rat Bastard. I'm completely paranoid.

Resident ghost, Bob, needs to do a better job of scaring things off. A Rat Bastard trap may be in order soon. But Claudia's husband Richard will have to come get it down if Rat Bastard actually gets trapped in it!

2am- Where is your Rat Bastard?

No, I'm not talking about your husband or boyfriend. I'm talking about the time I woke up last night thinking that the child that tapped the wall in the room next mine was Rat Bastard. Then, I started thinking about if they close up the holes that Rat Bastard and little mice friends got in by... what is going to happen. I'm not paying $500 for rat treatement. I wouldn't have even known if Squirrel Bastard hadn't popped by. Now- every little sound is Rat Bastard.

Toss and turn. Turn and toss. Turn the light on and read about Jamie and Claire. Turn the light off. Toss and turn. Turn and toss. This was my night. Constantly thinking about Rat Bastard. Last looking at the clock in the 4am hour sometime.

I came to work and immediately went into see the Property Manager. Let's talk Rat Bastards. Let me just cut to the chase. Property Manager and I went and bought the right poison that I can toss in the corners where I can't walk directly to. Smart. I'm going to put some mothballs up there because Rat Bastard doesn't like the smell of mothballs. I'm going to wait 7 long days and then plug the holes with the Stuffit steel wool in the soffits to keep Rat Bastard and friends out of the Penthouse until 2009 when I'll get a professional painter/sider person to fix it properly.

All this for $30.00.

I'm so pissed at Squirrel Bastard because if he hadn't come in and stirred up Rat Bastard I would still love my little house and not be tossing and turning all night. No, I won't let either Rat or Squirrel Bastard change the love that I have for Home Sweet Home.

I'm just going to Rambo their asses!

Rat Squirrel Bastard

Rat Squirrel Bastard figured out how to get out and left Sunday on his own. I still had the critter people come to see where he got in and to seal it up. When I called the critter people he told me that he was going to do a 24 point inspection. What I realised when he got here and started doing his 24 point inspection was I wasn't interested in a 24 point inspection. No, I don't give a rat squirrel bastards ass about the 24 point inspection, what you think about my old ass wiring, how my a/c is set up, that the previous owners rigged up some crazy phone line or you're opinion on my insurance company.

All I'm effing interested in is how did the little rat squirrel bastard get in and how do I keep him out. That's it. Focus on the problem at hand so I can feed my children, get homework done and get them to bed. I'm not looking to spend $5,000 residing my home, $2,000 on rebuilding my fireplace chimney or anything else not related to keeping Rat Squirrel Bastard out of my penthouse suite. I'm officially annoyed.

Rat Squirrel Bastard entered through the roof vent that is not screened off. Critter people will be replacing said vent at a premium cost because a) I don't have the time and b) I don't have the energy for any other know it all to come tell me how the previous owners did a crappy job rigging phone lines. My phones work fine! The problem is a rat squirrel bastard running around in my attic!

And, this is the brief version.

The Penthouse Suite

So yesterday I was sitting in my living room enjoying a re-read of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander when there's a bit of commotion on the roof and near the fireplace area. A kaboom, scratch, scratch, boom kind of noise. I think, "Hmm... well that certainly sounds like something is now in the fireplace or wall." I go outside and peer at the roof. Nothing but roof. Deep breaths. Happy thoughts. Be brave. I stand silently in my living room and listen to scratch, scratch, thumpity-thump, scratch, scratch. Well, that's not good is it?

I have two entries to attic areas so I choose the entry where I can turn the light on inside the house. Smart move, right? And, I bring along a little flashlight. I'm waiting for some squeaking vermin to jump on me with his hungry little teeth and take a bite out of my face. I get to the top of the ladder and keep crawling up. Flashing the light to the dark corners of the attic area, I realize like the dumb ass I truly am that my attic goes all the way across and I can see where I store my holiday decorations on the side. It's dark over there but I can hear that scratching noise of four little feet. Something jumps up and makes some really loud scratching noise on the duct pipe but being the total wuss that I am, I retreat screaming something like, "EEEWWWW!" And close that trap door as fast as I can. I'm convinced I saw a rat but to be completely honest, in my freaked out state, I couldn't pick him out of line-up.

I grab the phone and call the Beeny's. What do I do? It's decided that rat poison is my best option. A quick trip to Lowes and I've purchased a big box of those little poison bait boxes. I hope the little bastard is hungry. But of course, now, Ms. Scary Pants has to put the poison up there.... deep breaths, happy thoughts. I can do this. I turn the light on in the in house attic area and go the garage access area. I make a ton of noise with the trap door. Pulling it down and slamming it closed. I'm coming up! I just go far enough to put the poison up there. Repeat on the other door.

I think all the noise scared him because I didn't hear from him for a while. Then there was the scratchity-scratch, thump, thump, boom, scratch noises. I try to endure it so the little rat bastard can get to the poison and have a little feast. Of course, the box and the Internet inform me that the little buggers are weary of new food supplies so it may take him a couple of days for him to eat it. Well, that's not acceptable.

I make it through the night dreaming of lions. They'll eat that rat bastard! But first thing this morning, scratchity scratch. Guess who's up?

My mom had a rat penetrate her home when she had the kitchen remodeled so when she didn't return my call from Saturday, I called her cell phone. She informs me the poison will do no good and I should get a trap. I think about this after we hang up. This means than I will need to go back into the attic. I've started talking to the little rat bastard, "Stay away from my decorations." and "Did you have a good breakfast, you little rat bastard?"

Rat-Bastard- my new favorite word.

I decide- no, I cannot handle this on my own. And I can do a lot of things on my own. I can paint, assemble, lift heavy objects, and such but this rat bastard needs a man to come and evict his ass. I start calling pest controls numbers. The first one to answer on a Sunday has my business.

The third company I call answers first. Doug tells me he thinks it might be a squirrel because you don't usually hear rats during the day. I think, "Oh, I can maybe handle a squirrel." I mean they're cute carrying nuts around in their mouths with their fluffy little tails. I think about my little buddies that I watch running around our office (which by the way, the landscapers are trying to get rid of.) I think about Karyn from Pretty in the City and her little squirrel visitor. Doug informs me that the little rat squirrel bastards will do more damage than a rat bastard. When can you be here? Today? Now? No, not today. Damn! Jason, aka Super Hero rat-squirrel bastard Evictor, will call me first thing in the morning. Doug asks what time? You know what- I will get my non-morning loving ass out of bed at the crack of dawn and fix SHRSBE breakfast and coffee if we will come as early as possible. What's your first appointment? No time was established but SHRSBE will call me first thing in the morning.

What does that little rat squirrel bastard expect? Does he think he can just move into the penthouse suite without submitting references, a credit check or putting down a deposit? I think not! And now I'm not just happy with him moving out. I want him dead. You know he's been on the rat-squirrel bastard phone to all his buddies telling them about his new pad! "Come on over. You can crash with me. There's plenty of room!" I saw Ratatouille! Those little bastards travel in packs. Someone needs to tell him about my "No Pet" policy!

Okay, so I have to live another 18 hours with the little rat-squirrel bastard having a party in the penthouse suite and hope that in that time period he doesn't chew through something important, invite anymore friends over, have any babies or figure a way how to penetrate into my living quarters until Critter Control shows up tomorrow morning.

I can just see that little rat-squirrel bastard soaking in a jacuzzi (aka the drip pan from the ac) chewing on my little poison pellets getting high saying, "WHEW! JACKPOT!"

Little rat-squirrel bastard.

Paper Paintings

I have found a new artist that I just love! Her name is Elizabeth St. Hilaire Nelson. It is my goal to own one of her pieces (or more) AND to attend one of her workshops. In fact, I'm hoping to obtain both for my 40th birthday next year. There. I have officially put it out to the universe.

Check her blog out at http://elizabethsthilairenelson.blogspot.com/.

More of her work is featured here.

The piece below is called Reflection. Isn't she beautiful? I have envisioned something like this hanging in my living room extending my pool into my house. :)

Ray Wattson from Highlowaha.com

Ray has been very busy over at Highlowaha.com since I introduced you to him here on our site. If you click on the pictures, they should open in a new window larger. Search for the hidden "HLA"s. A clue to how many are in the picture are by his boot. Good Luck!

In September, he dressed up like a Pirate and played Virtual Bingo.

Then in October, he showed up to wish Claudia, blog author, a Happy Birthday.

He was Count RAYcula for Halloween.

Then he voted for democRAYcy on Super Tuesday.

And today, he was HemmingRay starting out our Blog-A-Thon to raise money for a family in need.

Where will he turn up next?

Soundtrack of My Life

No One is to Blame by Howard Jones is one song that would have to be on my personal soundtrack.



When it comes to relationships, for one reason or another, this is my theme song. The lyrics are completely poetic. Love them. Whenever you hear it think of me.

Here they are:
You can look at the menu but you just cant eat
You can feel the cushions but you cant have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you cant have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you cant commit the sin
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can build a mansion but you just cant live in it
You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
Some break the rules
And live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that wont get lost
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can see the summit but you cant reach it
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just cant make it fit
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to one ever is to blame

Darius Rucker... love him

I love that Darius Rucker is singing country music. I loved him in Hootie and the Blowfish.


I'm pretty sure he wrote this song for me and all me exes sing it and think of me.


HA!

Sidedish Friend by Rachael Yamagata

Paranoia

At work on Thursday, a coworker and I were talking about being paranoid about sounds in your home. Whenever I hear a suspicious sound in my home and I go to search out the culprit of the noise, I tell myself, "This is when she gets killed in the horror movies."

Well, then it happened. Last night I was watching TV and I heard a noise outside. It sounded like something gently (or not so gently) hit the house. Maybe a ball or something. It wasn't completely dark yet but definitely dusk. It took me a minute to get the courage up to go look outside. I cautiously turned on the outside light just in case Jason was on my porch. No Jason. Then I bravely unlocked the door and peeked outside. Nothing out of sorts there. I'll just check that my new Halloween ghost decorations are still where I left them. One step out of the door. Check them out. Yep their still there. Hmm. I didn't look any further and went back to watching tv.


When I came out this morning, this is what I saw...





Someone had hit the light post! That's looking back at my house. I am so observant! How did I miss that?

Mystery solved.

USPS Reliability Test

Check out these mad phone camera skills.

Okay HLA members, here is what I mailed! Taking all bets. Will it get to T.Shay in California?

For those of you that have no clue what I'm talking about, read this post to catch up.

The Caramel Machiato

This is the most beautiful cup of coffee I have ever seen. And it's delicious to boot!

I'm Just Asking

This is at a table I dined at for lunch yesterday.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

Or maybe I'm just crazy.

Lauren's Wedding and More

The boys were ring bearers at their second cousins, Lauren, wedding. They were so stinking cute. The above photo was taken on my cell phone camera so not great quality. They were waiting for the rest of the wedding party to come and join them at this point. This was their first time to wear a tie and Lauren's cousin, Jonathan did a great job of getting them tied for us. Thanks Jonathan.

The boys had a great time at the reception. They guarded the cake. At one point my sister had to ask them to get out from underneath the table. ayh! That would have been just one more funny story about her wedding. Well, I hope she can look back and think that the kinks in her wedding were funny. :) I won't recap. And Lauren, it was a beautiful wedding.

September was busy over all. With school starting, soccer starting, the wedding and family visitors. My office also moved locations (it's right next door to where I was at so it's not any closer) and just let me say this is the most spectacular office building I have ever worked! And I'm very lucky. I did tap the wall behind my parking spot on the second day of business but there was no damage to the building, my care or even my pride.

And, BOOM! October is here. We don't have too much planned for October. I don't think. We're in count down mode for Drew's birthday on Halloween. He wants to go to Six Flags.

Speaking of birthdays. I am working on putting together two new blogs. The first, is about birthdays and will start on October 5th. I'm pretty sure I'm calling it "You Say It's Your Birthday" Maybe. Unless I come up with something better. Hmmm.... any suggestions in the next 3 days? The second is about road rage and how to relieve it. It's going to be a snarky blog about the drivers that get me riled up, what I do to relieve the anger and other stories about driving and parking. Not sure on what to call that one either.

And as always, you can always catch me commenting at http://www.highlowaha.com/ where the blog mascot, Ray, can be found. I'm having a great time drawing him. He's going to be busy with the holidays coming up.

You say it's your birthday!

Happy Birthday, Angie!

Happy Birthday, Katie K!

Katie, you share your birthday with one of my oldest and craziest friends!!!

For Heather

Well, the most exciting thing that has happened since our last post was that I went to Philadelphia and celebrated the Taste of USA Winner Party which was hosted by my friend, Claudia and her world famous blog, Highlowaha. But Heather, you already knew all that.


Soccer has started. Yay! After two losing seasons, the Sting are 2-0 to start the Fall 2008 Season. We have cool new jersey this year. We're gold and black. I missed the first game due to Taste of USA but took a ton of photos last week. Unfortunately, they're all still sitting on my camera waiting to be downloaded. I just have to say that Melvin, a new team member is a force to be reckoned with.


My sister, niece and cousin are due in on Friday. Safe travels to them. We're going to play Virtual Pirate Bingo on Friday. I'm pretty sure my sister thought I was crazy when I told her on the phone last night. Then, on Saturday- more soccer and then off to see my youngest first cousin on my mothers side to get married. Aw- a wedding.


Sunday- more soccer.


Work is good. On Friday, September 26th, we will be moving into our new office building. It is nothing short of spectacular, amazing, gorgeous and spectacular. I already said that. 18th and early 19th century art is featured throughout the public areas. I feel very fortunate to working in such a beautiful environment with a company that takes care of their employees. One of the new features is a workout room with a trainer (not that I'll utilize it; I mean, I have an elliptical machine right in my bedroom and it never gets used so I'm just being realistic here.) and a full kitchen that will be serving lunch some time at the end of the year. I'm excited.


So- what else...


I've started something new. Let's see, how do I describe this... Whenever someone pisses me off in traffic, I whip out my cell phone and take a picture of them. Like this guy...

First, he ran a red light while several of us were entering the intersection since our light was green. Second, at the next intersection, he was in the turning lane to turn left but when the light turned green he decided he would cut me off and go straight. Third, as I was travelling behind him, he swerved in both lanes nearly hitting the car in the right lane. I snapped this picture while at the intersection of Oak Lawn and Maple where afterwards he repeated step number three. When I bravely drove up next to him, I couldn't help but mouth the words, "Really? You call that driving?" I'm pretty sure he understood me.

But the point is, after I take these pictures of lane blockers and heinous drivers, I somehow feel better knowing that they're going to be a feature of my blog and I can safely drive on my way with no pent up road rage.

You should try it.

Back to School Ray

Here is the latest Ray, my favorite light bulb!

As always, please come join the fun at highlowaha.com.

Psst... Hi Karyn!

Hey, it's Drew & JB. Remember us? We live here.


JB, doesn't it suck that mom is writing more about her friends blog and crap than about us?

Yeah!

What's up with that sh*t?

Drew, watch your mouth!

Shut up! You're not my mom.

No, I'm not your mom. She isn't writing about us anymore. Remember?

Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Maybe if I could swim like Michael Phelps and set out to win 9 gold medals, she'll start writing about us again.

Yeah, and I'll be the king of England.

You can do it!

Go for it, Drew!

I should!

But, I'm going to be the King of England.

He is.

We'll see.

Don't eat me.

Steak sounds good.

Oh sh*t!

Hey Sexy!

Hey Sexy!

No, not you. You're not my type. Karyn can have you.

I'll take him.

You're married.

So. Busted.

Listen boys, I'll still write about you.

Promise?

Of course.

Okay.

Let's go out for hamburgers.

My favorite.

I'll have lamb chops.

Oh sh*t!

Watch your mouth!

The End.

If you think that was funny, you should check out Karyn's original post.

No animal or child actually swore in the making of this blog post but we did have hamburgers for dinner.