A Toast - by cheryl e wilson (so ee cummings!)
I've experienced that old Southern Comfort,
seen the Royalty of the Crown,
I've been to Margaritaville
where Jack and Jim, they left me with a frown.
I went to Boone's Farm
to see those Strawberry Hills,
But the Country didn't Quench me
and Tickle Pink did not leave me thrilled.
I've waded through the Hurricanes
after Sex on the Beach.
I've played with Fuzzy Navels,
the sweetest of them peach.
I've been Screwed by the Driver,
done the Kamikaze death dive,
I've been stomped on by that Turkey,
and somehow, somehow I survived.
So, let the executive have his whiskey,
let the debutante sip her wine,
Just give me a tall, cold beer
and I'll be fine!
written circa 1990, probably at the height of my binge drinking.