Tuesday, November 18, 2008

2am- Where is your Rat Bastard?

No, I'm not talking about your husband or boyfriend. I'm talking about the time I woke up last night thinking that the child that tapped the wall in the room next mine was Rat Bastard. Then, I started thinking about if they close up the holes that Rat Bastard and little mice friends got in by... what is going to happen. I'm not paying $500 for rat treatement. I wouldn't have even known if Squirrel Bastard hadn't popped by. Now- every little sound is Rat Bastard.

Toss and turn. Turn and toss. Turn the light on and read about Jamie and Claire. Turn the light off. Toss and turn. Turn and toss. This was my night. Constantly thinking about Rat Bastard. Last looking at the clock in the 4am hour sometime.

I came to work and immediately went into see the Property Manager. Let's talk Rat Bastards. Let me just cut to the chase. Property Manager and I went and bought the right poison that I can toss in the corners where I can't walk directly to. Smart. I'm going to put some mothballs up there because Rat Bastard doesn't like the smell of mothballs. I'm going to wait 7 long days and then plug the holes with the Stuffit steel wool in the soffits to keep Rat Bastard and friends out of the Penthouse until 2009 when I'll get a professional painter/sider person to fix it properly.

All this for $30.00.

I'm so pissed at Squirrel Bastard because if he hadn't come in and stirred up Rat Bastard I would still love my little house and not be tossing and turning all night. No, I won't let either Rat or Squirrel Bastard change the love that I have for Home Sweet Home.

I'm just going to Rambo their asses!

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